The Fast Inch

Ralph looked up at the sky. A meteor the size of a pea flaming blazed down and hit the ground ten feet from him.
“Wow.” he said, “that was cool.”
The cows mooed, the pigs oinked. Some chickens laid some eggs.
A chicken named Kee walked a little bit towards the meteor site, but then changed its mind, and walked back to the house.
“Ma, something crashed into the ground, lets get a shovel and stuff.”
“Ralphie! I don’t want to go near those things! There could be worms, or maggots, or cheese pie!”
“Mom, it’s just a meteor, I’m sure there’s only snails in it.” He paused, put his finger to his forehead like the famous thinking statue.
“Remember the time we went fishing and caught the lochnas monster, only it was disguised as a catfish, because it didn’t want none one knowing it was real?”
“Yes dear Ralphie my sweetie pie.”
“Well, this here meteorite wants us to think there are worms and maggots and all kinds of gross things, when in reality, there’s just snails waiting to join our community. Maybe even teach us a few lessons or two.”
“Oh Ralphie, I’m so proud of you. I don’t think there’s none lesson you could learn.”
“Your right mama, I done all my lesson learning right in your stomach. You fed me the best applesauce, honey, wine, porkchops, and love making with Dad that made me who I am now.”
“Ralphie, now don’t go mentioning our love making, the snails in the meteorite might be offended.”
“Yes, you’re right. Oh, there’s a slug.”
A slug inched its way in the grass, ten feet from the meotorite.
“We should put it in a card board box, with a dangling sun. How many moons should we give it?”
“Roll the dice, Ralphie, you know that’s how we make all the decisions on the farm!”
And they combed Ralphie’s hair to the side.
But the slug wasn’t happy in the cardboard box, he crawled out, into the kictchen sink, into the garbage disposal. But first he walked over a piece of paper, and left a trail of slime.
So Ralphie;s Mom turned the garbage disposal on, and the slug, they named it “Chug”, went on her face, the walls, the ceiling. Ma read the “suicide note”, and gasped. She told Ralphie, and they gathered the remains of “Chug”, and made a headstone for him, paid $200 bucks for it, and it read: “We didn’t know how many moons, but we knew how much heart.”
They loved him for one week.